Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Dear Friends and Family

This is Valerie again, my family and I have appreciated feeling your love and prayers on our behalf. It feels good to be lifted and supported throughout this experience. This post will be the hardest to share since the news of my mom's diagnosis.

After the last CT scan decisions of what to do next faced us like a dead end street. There was one last treatment option, a targeted therapy, technically not chemotherapy. Weighing the pros and cons of the treatment, at first it seemed automatic to just get started on it, because what other choice did we have? Well, it comes down to quality of life. We knew in the beginning this was terminal. It is not about chasing treatments, it's about making my mom feel as comfortable and as pain free as possible while enjoying time with family and friends. With this last treatment came side effects that would have given her more bad days than good. It was not worth it to continue treatment, so she has stopped them. We feel this was the best decision! With nothing else to be done she is now on hospice.

I remember getting the call, I was looking out of my bedroom window. Everything went blurry for a minute and my heart sank. As I was holding my 2 month old son, I felt so sad. A kind of sad I have never felt before. A flood of memories came over me and clashed with moments I had envisioned in the future with my mom. After it sank in, that she will be passing soon, I felt an overwhelming sense of strength and peace. I feel so loved by God and I know He wants me to be happy. I know without a doubt that she will still be part of my life. She will be with me in spirit and I will see her again. I love her so much.

12 comments:

  1. Oh... Valerie! I love you so much! You are incredible just like your mother-- strong and courageous. I know she will be with you through all those moments big and small. Dawna, are you up for a visitor? I would love to come see you.

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  2. I don't remember you as an adult...in fact I think the first and last time I saw you was at your Grandpa Perry's funeral. It was a long time ago. A lot has transpired since then. I have come to know your mother in the last few years... not only through visits but through her precious words, on this blog and in her story. I have to say it has been an honor to feel of her spirit. I have used her testimony more than once to teach my own children of the plan of salvation. She has been a true advocate for the gospel in word and deed... like her mother before her, her strength and testimony have brought light into the lives of so many. Valerie, you too have a brightness about you that repeats those women whom you follow. Thank you for being a part of my eternal family. For teaching me of Gods love, especially in the darkest of times. I pray with all of my heart for peace. Peace for you and for your family. I love you and am honored to share this experience from a remote corner of this small world. God Bless You, comfort you, and strengthen you!

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  3. Valerie, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom! Cancer is so difficult; we had a similar experience with my grandfather. He had to decide if he was going to pursue difficult therapies that would have extended his life a few months or to decide to choose a shorter life with less pain and he opted for the later. It was a brave choice and I'm so glad that he did. While it was hard to say goodbye and his passing was still difficult, there was a lot of peace as well. I was really close to him and while it doesn't compare to losing a parent, I know what you are feeling right now and the journey you have ahead. You and your family are in my prayers and I hope you will be able to be with your mom at this time. Love you! Katie

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  4. Dawna and all of the Golden Family -- We love you so much. We are so sad, too. We are praying that this last bit of time you have together will be very sweet and that the Lord will give all of you comfort and peace. We love you soooo much! Dale and Bill

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    1. Thanks Dale and Bill. We love you too. :)

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  5. My mother continued on her journey last May. I understand the Peace you speak of. We were even blessed to have an LDS Hospice nurse in TEXAS!!. I know God knows each of us personally and gives us eveything we need to face our challenges here on this earth. Even though the nurse had been inactive for years she still held close to her heart all the things she had been taught. You guys are a wonderful family, be proud of everything you have accomplished. Love from the Ferreira Family

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  6. Dawna Golden you are such an inspiration to me! Although I haven´t seen you in over 10 years, I still remember the lessons your sweet spirit, burned into my heart, as my teacher and as an example of a loving wife, mother, and friend. I love you and I am so grateful for the time in my life I had the pleasure of being near you. Thank you so much for being such a wonderful inspiration to me and my family.You are so beautiful. I love you and all the Golden family and I send you all my love and prayers. xoxoxx

    Alisha Burton

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    1. Alisha,
      It is so good to hear from you! I hope you are doing well. Thank you for the kind words. I love you and your family too. Take care.

      Dawna

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  7. Dawna you are a wonderful lady! I have read all of the posts you have made and your fight with cancer. You have been in our prayers and our hearts since this started. May the Lord watch over you and your family. I am so grateful for the gospel and that we will see each other again. Take care and God be with you till we meet again! We love you!!

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    1. Thanks for your support and prayers Vicky. I hope you and yours are doing well.

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  8. Thinking about you today. You are one of the most spiritual, amazing human beings I have ever met. Your Spirit just shines.

    Thank you!
    Lynn

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