Welcome

Dear Readers,

    Whether you have come to this blog on purpose, by accident, because you have been affected by cancer in a loved one or yourself, recommended to read this, old reader, new reader, whatever your circumstance, thank you for visiting this site. This is a journaled account of my Mothers experience with stage four colon cancer. Stage four means that it has spread to other organs. It is that last stage of cancer. She passed away July 16, 2014. The posts talk about treatments, test results, the cancers progression and her physical status as she endures all that comes with cancer. The part that I like to look back on is her account of faith. Not everything was posted on here that she, or our family, went through emotionally or spiritually, but it reminds me of the experiences we had and what I have learned and continue to learn from her strength. I love her perspective here and what she says. I pray this leaves an impression on you and helps to lift you and give you the strength you need, cancer related or not. I encourage you to read her book "Hurdles" that is where her more personal stories are shared. Thank you for letting her touch your life. She was an amazing woman!

This link

http://kickingcancerchronicles.blogspot.com/2012/01/january-26-2012-and-all-that-led-up-to.html will bring you to the first post. Be mindful of the dates if you wish to read in order. Unfortunately with 'blogger' the posts are displayed in reverse.

With love,

Valerie

Her only daughter. Oldest out of four children.

Missing Her

This is my last planned post.

The past 11 weeks I have had constant flash backs from any given moment in time with my Mom. She is dead, but still very much alive. At night, in my dreams, I can even smell her. I have never lost someone close to me before. It's a shame she had to be my first. I sometimes think of what we would be doing if she never had cancer. Right now, she would be on her way to Charlotte to squish her cute grandson and help me make our new house a home by decorating and, well, you name it. How we both looked forward to that, and so many things.

Between the memories and clinging thoughts of her, I can hear a distant voice so clear "...it's cancer." My heart sank to the point of disappearing. I spent over two years pulling my heart back up only to find she's taken it with her. It feels gone forever. Somehow life goes on. It really is odd. The day she was diagnosed and the day she died. Those two moments changed me forever. They literally altered my being. I am able to see others who are going through this, with so much understanding. I know that is how our Savior sees us. He suffered for us so that He can understand us and know how to comfort us. The atonement goes so much deeper, but I have experienced His pure love for us, charity, because of this heartache. I have a deeper understanding and love for others because I know what it feels like. I am so grateful that I can turn to Christ in my trials and feel peace. Also, for those around me who have shown me love and understanding during this.

Watching my Mom breathe her last few minutes, I can not express to you the way she showed me such strength. It was scary and it was painful, for us both. But it was also in a way, beautiful. Knowing how she lived her life and imagining her welcomed home with open arms. I can not wait to see her again.

I feel like she is very present in my life. I love that. It's not how I pictured it, but nothing can break our bond as family, not even death. For however long I have left in this life, I hope I can endure it well, like she did.

_ _ _

Thank you to all of our friends and family who helped with the funeral and graveside services. And for all of those in attendance. It was heartwarming to see so many people. My family and I have certainly felt loved.

Family Formals

A few pictures my Uncle Lee took throughout the few days of funeral arrangements. Thanks so much to all the family who came to Washington and Utah. It was wonderful to feel supported by your love for my Mom and us.

For you, Mom.

Creating is cultivated,

in your selfless heart.

Brush strokes, sewn hems, beautifying,

your life produced much art.

The talents that you magnified,

touched lives of all around.

As "Mother," your teachings to us,

were something quite profound.

You filled your life with endless purpose,

it goes beyond the grave.

How do I begin to thank you

for the example that you gave.

It is in the things you did,

and what you chose to say.

I know that your love for Him

is how you found your way.

Unwavering faith, endured much,

a broken heart, made whole.

Until the day we meet again,

you'll be here in my soul.

--Valerie

Her Eulogy

Dawna Golden

Anyone who was blessed to know Dawna during her lifetime was well aware of her creative spirit. She would not hesitate to dive into projects that were beyond her knowledge or skill sets. She had an impressive aptitude to learn and to teach herself, adding to her ever-growing list of talents.

Dawna worked hard to make her home a place of comfort and refuge. As a talented piano player, she believed that music was one of the fastest and most efficient ways of inviting the spirit of the Lord into the room. She blessed the Golden home with countless hours of beautiful music and even taught her children, and others from around the neighborhood, how to play the piano.

As a young mother, she nurtured the imagination of her children through drawing, reading, singing and more. She valued family traditions and loved to create new ones. Making memories has always been very important to her. Being spontanious was thrilling to Dawna and it was enjoyable to see her face light up when she was having a good time. Her laugh is a priceless trait, it was like non other that made you feel lighter and happier just from hearing it. She was very good at spreading happiness.

Dawna looked at obsticles in life and found lessons to learn from them, making sure to share her experiences with her children. It was important to teach them to recognize God's hand in their lives. The experiences that have shaped her and caused her faith to be tested and to grow have made her an amazing woman, and a wise Mother. Only four will be so lucky to call her "Mom."

Dawna believed that it was possible to lose sight of one’s own difficulties and burdens through the selfless service to others. She never refused a church calling, or the chance to help someone in need, regardless of how many things she had already undertaken. Her hardworking, selfless nature was exemplified in her service to everyone she came in contact with. As a friend, a neighbor, a Visiting Teacher, and as a daughter of God, Dawna always put others before herself, whole heartedly.

To quote her husband, Eddie, “The Golden family was always at the top of our game with Dawna’s guidance and direction.” She possessed a tenacious drive to ensure the success of her children and her husband. Supporting her husband’s difficult work schedule and preparing her four young children for school, church, Scouting and Young Womens events, she lovingly steered them in a righteous direction. She truly was a Liahona to her family. 

Throughout her life, Dawna was a beautiful woman, with a matching spirit and personality noticed by all. Despite the sickness she suffered from, she seemed to shine brighter and emanate more beauty with each phase that she entered into. The sparkle in her eyes was a testament to the strength and beauty she embodied.

Dawna will always be remembered as a loving wife, mother, and sister. She was patient. She was spiritually in-tune. She was the paragon of a loving, righteous, and faithful daughter of our Heavenly Father. She was an example of strength and perseverance. Throughout her sickness, and even in her final moments, Dawna was able to teach us of humility and submission to Heavenly Father’s eternal plan. Her creating will not stop, she will be continuously moving closer to her full potential. Dawna will be missed and forever loved. We are grateful to know that we will see her again.

--Written by Corey Golden and Valerie Isham