Change

I am so sorry for the lack of posts. I suppose I kept the hospice experience more intimate. The purpose of this post is to show the change my Mom has endured over the past few months, and to note a more substantial decline in the last few weeks.

Since our visit to my mom in April, my brother Corey made it out in May to see Mom. I love this first picture of them. It makes me want to jump inside and hug them both! This will be a treasure for Corey to have to look back on.

This weekend, baby Kurt and I returned home from a week long trip to see my Mom again. It is so fun to see her face light up when she see's Kurtis. Here are some photos from our trip.

I could probably list off all of the not so pretty things about how cancer is treating her, but I won't. Just know she is in a lot of pain and discomfort, and she is loved and taken care of. The hospice nurses that come are very sweet and helpful. My Mom has such dear friends who have stepped in a carried her through this significant trial in her life. The support, help and love extended to my family makes my heart swell. The countless meals, treats, flowers, cards and more, brought over strengthens the foundation of faith we stand on as we approach the end. Mom you are the sweetest and most selfless person I know. What an honor it has been to help and serve you, even if it was only a few days. I am so grateful for those who are still helping. We love you Mom!

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

My mother is still doing well. I expected complete bed rest when I heard hospice. She is up and about, but not as much as before. Garrett and I wanted to bring her grandson, Kurtis, for a visit while she could still enjoy him. Not to mention we were a bit homesick for the pacific northwest. So we booked the flights and had one goal...to spend as much time with my mom, and family, as possible! (Corey, we missed you!!)

While we were there we had some last minute family pictures done at home by Chantel. (www.photographybyblush.com) They turned out so beautiful!

Dear Friends and Family

This is Valerie again, my family and I have appreciated feeling your love and prayers on our behalf. It feels good to be lifted and supported throughout this experience. This post will be the hardest to share since the news of my mom's diagnosis.

After the last CT scan decisions of what to do next faced us like a dead end street. There was one last treatment option, a targeted therapy, technically not chemotherapy. Weighing the pros and cons of the treatment, at first it seemed automatic to just get started on it, because what other choice did we have? Well, it comes down to quality of life. We knew in the beginning this was terminal. It is not about chasing treatments, it's about making my mom feel as comfortable and as pain free as possible while enjoying time with family and friends. With this last treatment came side effects that would have given her more bad days than good. It was not worth it to continue treatment, so she has stopped them. We feel this was the best decision! With nothing else to be done she is now on hospice.

I remember getting the call, I was looking out of my bedroom window. Everything went blurry for a minute and my heart sank. As I was holding my 2 month old son, I felt so sad. A kind of sad I have never felt before. A flood of memories came over me and clashed with moments I had envisioned in the future with my mom. After it sank in, that she will be passing soon, I felt an overwhelming sense of strength and peace. I feel so loved by God and I know He wants me to be happy. I know without a doubt that she will still be part of my life. She will be with me in spirit and I will see her again. I love her so much.