Lots of joy!

Today was an awesome day! Ian came home from his two year mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on January 7th. He spoke in church today and shared with us how he learned to recognize and follow the Spirit. He shared how his understanding of the gospel grew as he studied. And how when he learned of my cancer just as he was beginning his mission he studied harder and learned for himself the plan of salvation and spoke of the peace he felt when he understood it. His testimony is firm. I can't include everything he said here but it has brought me great joy to see his growth, and to know that he knows.

On the evening of the 7th, after picking up Ian, I wasn't feeling well. I went to lay down and when I woke up a couple hours later, I had a fever. I'm supposed to call into my doctor any time I have a fever. I haven't had a fever in a long time. But I know that because they only seem to happen at night, it means a trip to the ER. Sure enough we found ourselves in the ER. I was so afraid that I was neutropenic and that I would be admitted and our trip to Atlanta on the 9th would have to be postponed. But as sure as everybody seemed to be that I was neutropenic and would be admitted, it turned out not to be the case. They determined that I had picked up some kind of virus and would be fine to travel. Yay! So by the end of the next day I was feeling back to myself again and we were anxiously packing to go and see our new grandson!

Our trip was awesome! We stayed with my son-in-law's parents who are also friends of ours. They were very gracious for putting us up and putting up with us for over a week. It was nice to see them and catch up. I had all of my children together in one place and seeing my grandson was amazing. He is adorable and already you can see some if his personality.  It was incredible watching my daughter be a mother and seeing how my sons adored their nephew. We were exited to see Eddie's brother and his wife an their daughter. They flew down for a day to see everyone. It was nice catching up with them. Between Valerie and I we couldn't go out and do as much as we would have liked but the boys did a few fun things like going shooting and visiting the aquarium and playing basketball together. My favorite was going to story corps. It is free and their mission is to provide people of all backgrounds and beliefs with the opportunity to record, share, and preserve the stories of our lives. What an awesome idea! You get to go into a room, record your story and they preserve it and you get a copy! We originally were going to go in and have my husband record his 9/11 experience but at the last minute we decided that I would go in with my three sons and we would talk about this cancer experience and how it has affected each of us. What a special time that was. I enjoyed that conversation and the time spent with them so much. It was the right conversation to have.

So, now I'm back home ready to settle into a routine again but feeling so blessed with life's greatest blessings. A grandson. A son who has come home a man, ready to do what the Lord wants him to do. A daughter who has become a mother and her husband who is good and patient and helpful. A son who is serving his country and has such high ambitions and goals for his life. And another son who is preparing to go out on a mission and serve. I am grateful for all these things and more. It's a wonderful life!

Now back to January 6th and the ct scan results. There are two things they look at when making a determination on how treatment will go. The first is the tumor markers and the second is the ct scan. The scan is more heavily relied on than the tumor markers. This scan showed that right now things are stable meaning things are not growing  (they're not shrinking either) but the tumor markers have gone up. This chemo has been a hard one on me. He reduced the chemo a couple of rounds ago and I have done better. But he's thinking that the reduction is what has caused the numbers to go up. So he is going to increase the chemo back to 100% but take out the 5FU part of the chemo which is what is in the pump that I bring home for two days. The thought of not coming home with a pump makes me want to jump for joy and may be the only reason I agreed to go back up to 100%. We'll see how this goes. Hanging on till my next scan in a couple of months.

Fever

Around the beginning of the month mom started a fever. It also came with a cough (more than usual). After days of this going on, we could not ignore it and ended up in the ER on the 6th. It was about six hours of tests, waiting, waiting, and waiting to find no answer for the fever. The reason we delayed going in was because fevers happen frequently and the answer is never found. Mom researched and discovered colon cancer is one of three cancers that come with unexplained fevers. Still, its good to be sure, so we go in and endure the idle hours at the hospital. One upside...warm blankets! We ended up getting home around 130am. There's no place like home, especially your own bed.

Pains

On Tuesday the 17th...
(which also happens to be my wedding anniversary)
Mom was having pains in her shoulder and side.
She laid down and had trouble breathing.
By this time Garrett and I were in Seattle celebrating
and had no idea what Mom was going through.
My dad checked in with her.
After calling the nurses and checking with the doctors,
they told her to go to the emergency room.
My dad drove her.
Everything turned out to be alright.
No blood clots, infection or anything they were worried about.
The doctor there said it is probably just
pains from a dying tumor.

When we got home from Seattle,
Jason updated us on where our parents were and
how Mom had been feeling all day.
They did not come home until around 1:00am.
This, to me, was a little taste of what it will be like
to be living far away.
I won't know right away how Mom is,
I won't be able to help her.
I will feel helpless.
How awful.
Even though everything turned out to be more than ok,
I couldn't help but think about "what ifs" and "whens."
Like, what if Mom needs help when I'm in Charlotte.

I'm so glad it was pains from a dying tumor.
and not a new one.

Feeling Good

Mom's second round of chemo went a lot better than the first. She still had an ER trip though. This time it was because of chest pain. Cancer patients can develop blood clots easier so with the chest pain we were told to go in and have it checked out.

Thankfully, everything turned out just fine.

Mom was able to keep food down and had good energy. (She still gets tired a lot, but she found herself doing more things this time) She did not feel nauseous at all either! It was a really good week...especially compared to her first week on chemo.
Her first week she was very sick and nauseous and just all around uncomfortable. She had fevers which could lead to infection so we would go to the ER to have that checked out. She always turned out to be ok. Just long nights at the hospital. She could not keep anything down and had to get rehydrated through an IV. Not easy at all, but she leveled out and made it through.

Thank you for all of your prayers! We are definitely feeling them.

ER

On Friday night we went to the emergency room again. Mom hadn't been feeling good. She had a headache and fever. She also felt nauseous. We were worried her port had gotten infected since it had gotten a little wet earlier. Her blood pressure was the highest its been. 181/101. The doctor we called said to get her blood drawn to see if it was an infection so we decided to go yo the emergency room in Monroe. After a really long wait they were able to help her. Things went back to normal and there was thankfully no infection.

Mom starts chemo today 8am! Glad to get it started...we will soon see how she reacts to it.

Special thanks to the girls who came over yesterday to bring her a chemo basket! So sweet and thoughtful.

Emergency Room Visits

Saturday January 28th....

Mom, Dad and I went to do a session at the LDS Seattle Temple.

[which was an incredibly sweet experience beyond words]

We got out about 3:00pm.

Towards the end of the session she had been feeling

chest pain going downward.

Her doctors office has doctors on call 24/7

on the way home from the temple we debated going by the office

or just calling in about it to see what to do.

After getting home, she wanted to be at Jason's (what she thought was) last basketball game.

After the game, the pain had intensified.

She was having a hard time taking deep breaths and

having a hard time walking without pain.

She called in to a doctor to explain what she was feeling.

He told us to go to the ER.

Her blood pressure was up to 182.

Her cheeks and chin suddenly became very flushed.

They prepped her for a CT scan and took an x-ray.

She was given pain meds, to which she was called a "light weight"

because of her immediate reaction to them.

She became more comfortable

and her blood pressure came down.

The results from the x-ray and CT scan

did not show the cause of her pain,

and showed she did not have the problems

the doctor were concerned it may be.

Because she was comfortable and they could not see anything wrong,

she was released.

We went and filled a pain med prescription and got home around 2:30am.

Sunday we slept in, laid low and hoped something bad would not happen again.

She said she hasn't had that good of asleep in a long time.

Easy on those drugs mom ;)

We also had a visit from some friends.

On January 30th...

Preparing for her colonoscopy did not go smoothly.

She suffered really intense pains.

She said "No one should ever have to feel that"

"It was the worst pain I'd ever had in my life"

She could not keep anything down and her system was not clearing.

We called the doctor twice

First time they said to discontinue some of the cleanse.

Second time they said

"We're canceling the colonoscopy, something's wrong,

take her to the emergency room"

Just before leaving things started to move.

Which was good news and meant there was nothing blocking.

By the time we got to the ER around 4:30pm she was feeling better.

Not much was done and she was released but understood the

importance of the colonoscopy and decided to reschedule it.